But I met people WAY more fucked up than me (and you, I reckon) in rehab. I’m pretty much aware of what you are going through and what you really want to change. Found a better job or great significant other? Marriage is great. Decide what to be and go be it. And take it from me, all that really matters is finding that one person you actually makes you happy. Fill in this blank: "I want to be the kind of man who ________.". It's a bunch of BS. You have a lot to offer the right girl as I've stated above. When you discover your raison d'etre, your reason for existing on this planet (only the individual can define their own meaning in life), you can change your perspective and learn to adapt in order to achieve your desires and goals. Going forward it might be a good idea to ask interviewers how you can improve. But there are things that you can do to begin turning your life around. Not sure if that rambling mess made sense, but I’m in a sleepless state (but yet still overflowing with internal energy) shrug. I haven't been in almost a year now. In fact I would say that I back slid a little bit with financial discipline because finally getting this big break I got a little entitled like "I deserve to enjoy myself now that I've made it". How do you handle rejection? The guy is so on point with what this game of life is all about. Alan Watts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khOaAHK7efc, 24 people who became highly successful after age 40: http://www.businessinsider.com/24-people-who-became-highly-successful-after-age-40-2015-6/, Joseph Campbell (Follow Your Bliss): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLKUFYAOoRI. The most amazing journies always start with that first step. This mindset can very likely help with your coding too. No change without action. Or when you interact with potential clients who are female, do you worry about how they perceive you in that moment? More gym, less weed; more study, less TV. Talk. No credit cards for at least five years till I can fix the debt issue. Hey! Keep looking and you will find one that fits. It would be frustrating to be turned down for 27 jobs in 3 months, yes. But don’t spend too much time here; you’ve got *better* things to do. So was therapy lol. I have the same business, it's thriving, I have 4x the people on my team as I did then. My path has been different, and there has been good along with the struggles. I wish you the best and if you like the first Alan Watts video, search for "What if when we die, we wake up?" I think confidence comes with knowing something about that topic. Sure. It’s awesome your turning it around for yourself!nice job!! I have definitely dealt with self-esteem issues and have questioned my self-worth and decisions many times over the years, but I do feel I am getting better at self-acceptance and not getting caught up in the 'keeping up with the Joneses' part of life. I've got a good job and no debt, but still I feel unhappy. Finding an unbiased person like a psychologist to confide in share your experiences with will make you feel a lot better about life and help you mentally work through obstacles on your own. It’s a time where you begin to change and turn into the adult you are meant to be. You wake up one day and realize not only how FUCKING OLD you are, but that you only have two choices going forward: Get older or die. Debt is still a problem. If you were my son I would be bragging about you to all my neighborhood! I find it very difficult to turn my life around at 35. Best advice: keep the wisdom of the past but let go of your thirty years so that you can live in the future of who you were meant to be. I did end up replacing running with hiking because after a while it got to be a little hard on my body. Congrats on quitting smoking! I'm much less of a spaz than I was three years ago, when I was married. She showed me on paper what I have been ignoring for a few years. I focused as much as possible on the present moment. Since I launched Becoming the Alpha Muslim last year you’ve been exposed to various topics in the space – spirituality, health, relationships, character development, and more. I run it from the jungle in Costa Rica. They are essentially laying the foundation for a huge collapse. Congrats on landing the 28th job, but I'm not going to sugar-coat it. Thirty-something women can look forward to pay growth peaking at an average age of 39, according to a Payscale.com analysis.And if you're an artist or a scientist, you'll be most likely to have your biggest creative breakthrough in your late-30s, according to a study of scientific innovators and Nobel Prize winners. If you’ve lost relationships, jobs, hobbies, or even your health due to depression, you can turn your life around and start taking positive steps toward a better future. Others have kids, a family, house, well-paying job and are unhappy because they wish they didn't have so many responsibilities! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khOaAHK7efc, http://www.businessinsider.com/24-people-who-became-highly-successful-after-age-40-2015-6/, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLKUFYAOoRI. At 28, after 10-year career, I had to move back home, jobless. Other books taught me about building systems, batch processing and other things that I had not incorporated into my business that really made things easier. You, however are the one that made the transformation. I feel like I finally got the emotional component under control. The truth is that turning 30 doesn’t have to be all that scary as long as you know what to expect. Your goals may change, but the energy or "life force" that was guiding you remains and will help you shape your reality. I surf almost every day. Almost 60% of my clients are in their 40s. ***Get your copy of The 30 Day Challenge Book: 500 Ideas to Inspire Your Life here*** You don’t always need to partake in massive life altering experiences, around the world adventures or make drastic lifestyle changes to your routine to make a significant difference to your life. These all have important life lessons . I will definitely check those out. Thank you. Some people are born to live exactly as how they were meant to live. The conversation got me thinking about how much I'm loving my 30s. A lot of what you say is so true. She is currently in Argentina. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the GetMotivated community. I'm not sure I would have done that if I felt everything was going great for me at the time. At the moment I did decide that I want to find an other job. One thing I do having going is my exercise habits have been great since mid-summer, but I need to make (big) changes to my diet and sleep habits. Searching for a new job since I am surviving pay-scale to pay-scale. I was depressed at around 25, felt around the same way as you, and found a psychologist. Most of the friends are married now, best friend is getting married in a few weeks. That is huge and saves a ton of money. Pro tip... Live your life, 'cause they won't live your life for you. OP, what everyone is saying is right. But the upside is my wife likes hiking as well and after watching my situation she's decided to eat healthier and is down a few pounds herself . Never finished. Thus far, from a random strangers perspective... Dude you are trending in the positive! That you can control! The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. But as a generalization, late 20s/early 30s, does feel different to early and mid 20s. My job still blows, and a late 20's arrest record has not helped. Between all those things and many nights of soul crushing depression, I finally started changing my "failure" mindset, loving myself (eyeroll I know) and enjoying my life. Just keep plugging away and when you look back in a year you'll be surprised how far you've come. It's only this year (just turned 35) that I finally found a job in my field that I love and that pays me a sum I'm happy and mostly comfortable with. I also couldn't keep track of anything and would forget to do stuff and show up at work without supplies that I needed and have to reschedule for the next night. It's all there is. And thanks for suggesting those podcasts. I read books that motivated me. Failed at my Mechanical Engineering Degree - Completed in 5 years rather than 4. I'm 34, reenrolled at community college like Fall 2015. 30 Things About Life Everyone Should Learn Before Turning 30 This is the first big milestone. Up til then, I've had hobbies and passions, but never anything that grabbed me like surfing has. Keep working out, and watching what you eat! I need some motivation to get going on how you people turned your life around when on a low point in life? It feeds this have and have nots mentality that ignores happiness. 453 votes, 263 comments. He helped completely turn my life around. It's only a failure if you stop trying. And then I look on Facebook and see a lot of people with seemingly perfect lives, and that makes me feel worse. But many people would stand no chance at getting that many interviews in that period of time. Maybe you want a promotion. Here's my personal list of the things in my 30s that have surprised me and made me feel a lot more relaxed about life: Good luck and let us know how its going in a few months. I'm so sick of our society, companies, advertisers, the media, etc acting as if we're not living up to some certain standards, we're not "making it" in this world. Be confident, be positive, not only can you do these things, you already are. I then took a job as a security guard. So it may seem like you fail more than most people, when in fact you're about average. Do not listen to the mind chatter that says "you're in your late 30's and you haven't ______, we've got to fix this!" And I'm no longer randomly just buying crap to make myself feel good. Living with my recently divorced dad. You'll learn that accomplishing your goal didn't change who you are, but you'll find you always could have done more than what you were because you were only holding yourself back. Once I found it, my life had the start of some balance. Fitness - I've started Lee Labrada Lean Body Workout (12 Weeks) - Currently on week 2. If you clam up and become afraid, people sense that... That is what my makes things awkward. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Eventually, I got into Tech support for about 1.5 yrs. This last point is especially important. I appreciate the post, thank you for taking the time to write! It worked for them though and that's what matters. It's still a part of my life, but I managed to partly overcome it through therapy and - most importantly, I think - small steps out of my comfort zone. The problem is that if you are psychologically used to spending every penny you earn then more money doesn't fix the problem it makes it worse. Firstly, worrying about how others perceive you is a waste of time. Her series on the addictive personality was a game-changer. I’d definitely say I am having a midi life crisis. Facebook doesn't help, because people under this spell think they need to post, project a life that isn't truly theirs, which in turn makes everyone else feel like they lack. And yay 12 step & therapy. Pay is OK, not that great yet since my programming skills are worst. Anyway, I think for a person (regardless of age) who wants to turn their life around, they need to know who they are and what they truly want in life. [Discussion] Did anyone turn their life around after 35? And it fucking sucks. So I started setting goals getting 3 days worth of work done every week then 4. Build up your professional profile, and experience. I've facial looks, which I'm thankful to parents. You are a loser!" My Programming skills - which is necessary for point 2. The thing is, if you don't do any socialising outside of work, it's unlikely your social skills will improve. then search for "alan watts + " in youtube. Failing is ok, it teaches you. Carolyn Cowan on Youtube is really good for this. I'm currently 25lbs over-weight. Been hiking with the gf a lot to stave off the worst of the tubbiness with mixed results. Sorry for format! I have a good job now that pays well and I really enjoy. 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